Archive for March, 2010

As Jim Morrison Sang…

March 31, 2010

This is the end.

My last day of smoking (hopefully); Quit Day tomorrow.  I’m nervous, anxious and a bit scared, but also a bit excited about it and trying to look forward to the challenge.  I’ve stopped smoking in my car, I’m smoking in only one room in the house and I put away all but one of my ashtrays.  I’ve decided not to try too hard to deny myself  ‘rettes today; there will be plenty of time for that starting tomorrow morning.  Whatever ‘rettes I have left when I go to bed tonight, I will be sure to destroy them.

Have I mentioned lately how much this is gonna suck?

High Anxiety

March 30, 2010

Two days until Quit Day and the anxiety seems to be ratcheting up a bit.  Still not sleeping particularly well and woke up kinda congested this morning.  I’ll see if I can’t use that to start reducing my 22 ‘rettes/day today and tomorrow.  My motivation and enthusiasm remain high.  Confidence?  Not so much.  I really need to get behind the notion that I can do this.

I’ve learned two things so far from the behavioral surveys I’m doing daily on the Rutgers Palm diary.  One, I mostly smoke for negative reasons (bored, restless, anxious, frustrated, etc.) rather than positive (happy, satisfied).  Two, having a cigarette doesn’t seem to fix it.

Let The Games Begin

March 28, 2010

Yesterday, I rooted for the underdogs, but wimped out and picked the favorites to win.  Not today.  I say the Vols, a team that counts Kansas, Kentucky and Ohio State among its victims this year, finally outshine their vaunted women’s squad and send the Spartans home.

I’m also going with Baylor, a program that all but disintegrated back in 2003 when one of its players murdered his teammate, to (please, please, please) send Coach K-Mart and the Dookies back to NC behind their backcourt of Lacedarious and Tweety.  Besides, since Duke’s been traveling the past two weeks, I hear the campus is running a little low on privileged white kids.  

Oh No She Dint…

March 28, 2010

On CNN just now, Candy Crowley asked David Axelrod if he thinks it’s appropriate for the DNC to send out fundraising letters ICW the crazed teabagger antics/threats of the past week…instead of…oh, I don’t know, whether it’s appropriate to leave threatening voice mails and THROW BRICKS THROUGH OFFICE WINDOWS!!!  Really, Candy?  Seriously, that’s your question? Maybe it’s me, I could be wrong, I’m probably being too partisan.  You can’t make this shit up. 

Four Days and Counting…

March 28, 2010

…in my smoking career.  At least, that’s the plan.  Very restless sleep last night; not sure if that’s because I smoke or because I’m anxious about quitting.  Woke up a few times and finally got up about an hour or so earlier than I wanted.  Been logging my ‘rettes the past two days (22 each day) and the pattern seems to be heavier smoking in the first few hours, slightly tailing off as the day goes on.  I know that’s connected to morning coffee, and I’ll have to be aware of that when I quit, but there’s no chance I’m giving up caffeine, too.  Bad idea to try to give up more than one bad habit at a time.

Gotta go, time for CBS Sunday Morning…   

A Second Upset

March 27, 2010

Didn’t see that coming…great job by West Virginia, especially Da’Sean Butler in the first half with the threes and Mazzulla in the second half until fouling out.  Here’s the thing about Kentucky, as big and fast and strong and good as they are:  it’s hard to win college basketball games when you can’t shoot threes and you can’t make free throws…simple as that.

Keeping my smoking under control and at about the same level as yesterday; gonna have to start winding it down a bit leading up to Thursday morning. 

Did I mention how much this is gonna suck?

The Butler Did It!!

March 27, 2010

Wow!  Great game, really wanted to smoke during the last few minutes but made myself wait until game ended (and I finish writing this).  Delayed gratification and all.  Second straight game the Bulldogs outplayed and out-executed a more talented team in the closing minutes (Thurs. vs. Syracuse).  Well-played, well-deserved, good start to Elite Eight.

Butler is located in Indianapolis and they’re actually the host school for the Final Four.  Not sure the last time that happened…on to Ky.-W. Va…..and that ‘rette.

Ready for Hoops

March 27, 2010

I’m lighting up my ninth of the day as I write this.  Started counting and logging my ‘rettes yesterday to track my habits (22 total yesterday).  I’m quitting as part of a local university study which includes behavioral testing, counseling and, most importantly, free nicotine lozenges.  preparing as best I can for Quit Day (4/1); scared giving up my burning friends after 35 years.

Anyway, psyched for NCAA hoops today.  Rooting for Butler and W. Va., but I like K-State and Kentucky in the games.  Pullen and Clemente will be a handful for Butler and Kentucky is too much for anyone when they decide to defend and play hard.

Hello world!

March 27, 2010

This is gonna really suck.

I’m planning to quit smoking next Thursday (yeah, April Fools Day) and decided blogging about it, and whatever else crosses my mind, just might help a bit.  I harbor no illusions…

This is gonna really suck.