Archive for May, 2011

I’ll Take A Large With Pepperoni

May 24, 2011

Herman Cain, ex-Godfather’s Pizza CEO, is running for President; perhaps he needs to get back to his real expertise:

“We don’t need to rewrite the Constitution of the United States of America, we need to reread the Constitution and enforce the Constitution. … And I know that there are some people that are not going to do that, so for the benefit of those who are not going to read it because they don’t want us to go by the Constitution, there’s a little section in there that talks about “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,’” – Herman Cain, quoting the Declaration of Independence.

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A Torture Joke

May 23, 2011

No, seriously, some vintage Russian political humor:

The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

Charles In Charge…

May 17, 2011

…Barkley, that is.  He can infuriating and sometimes just a clown, but he can also nail it like he does here:

“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say, ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.

Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person. … They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all.”

In Case You Forgot…

May 8, 2011

…and I’m sure you did, Sen. Kerry had it right all along, even though he took endless mocking and abuse from Junior Bush and the DC press corps during the 2004 Presidential campaign.  Perhaps fighting terrorists by invading countries with huge armies wasn’t the right way to go; we could ask Bin Laden, but he’s, you know, dead:

”We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they’re a nuisance,” the article states as the Massachusetts senator’s reply.”As a former law enforcement person, I know we’re never going to end prostitution. We’re never going to end illegal gambling. But we’re going to reduce it, organized crime, to a level where it isn’t on the rise. It isn’t threatening people’s lives every day, and fundamentally, it’s something that you continue to fight, but it’s not threatening the fabric of your life.”

Kerry was a prosecutor before he got into politics, and made fighting organized crime a priority.

Getting It Done…

May 2, 2011